I’ve got issues

Don't we all?

Here’s a sampling of issues that I and some gentle souls of my acquaintance are currently experiencing:

• Coyote conquest imperils impending harvest at LA vineyard

• Millipede menace bashes Brooklyn bliss

And, less spectacularly, I recently had to cope with a few ant trails in the master bath.

As the weather cools down and the days shorten we move inexorably into autumn and into different rhythms of life. There are harvests to complete (and protect), gardens to clean up and put to bed, new school and work routines and many of us spend more time indoors, including (with the exception of coyotes) pests.

I am the first to admit that a glass-shattering shriek escapes me when I see pests in the house, and sometimes outdoors, too. Also, that my next atavistic reaction is the flight response. Whenever possible I command someone else to dispatch the offender with no delay. Sometimes the cat obliges me — but not without making the intruder pay dearly before the coup de grâce. In this photo the Terminator is at rest. Like Chuck Norris, Sable doesn't sleep, she waits.

Rather than blast every creepy-crawly or larger four-legged pest out of existence (as tempting as that may be at times), it’s safer and healthier for all concerned to attempt to restore balance.

Integrated Pest Management (IPM) is the most intelligent concept I know to deal with pests of all kinds, indoors and out, in a harmonious manner. Note that the key word here is “management” not annihilation. Like all worthy enterprises, implementing an IPM program requires some energy and thought.

See complete details here: http://www.epa.gov/opp00001/factsheets/ipm.htm

IPM, as defined by the Environmental Protection Agency, employs a four-tiered approach:

1. Set acceptable (and reasonable) tolerance levels. Although a single millipede sighting inspires me to consider a cross-country move (I see you nodding, Susan), this is usually impractical. Best to just squash the invader and drive on with one’s day. The technical term for squashing is “mechanical control”. Noting a continual presence of uninvited guests is something else again and requires the next step in the IPM approach: monitoring.

2. Monitoring and identifying pests. Some critters are actual pests and cause real damage to plants or harm to people. Some merely offend one’s aesthetic but are otherwise harmless. It’s important to know the difference so that you may take proper action — which may turn out to be inaction (also known as “sucking it up”).

3. Prevention is worth a pound of cure. Every living thing has needs and preferences for a happy existence. (Mine are dark chocolate, prosecco and Chris Isaak, not necessarily in that order, but what a splendid combination…) In an outdoor IPM setting this translates to correct plant choices and cultural practices that keep plants healthy and therefore resistant to pests and diseases. Planting drifts of hydrangea (AKA deer candy) in your deer-infested back 40 without deer fencing is asking for a sad little forest of brown twigs. Selecting a shade lover for a sunny spot is asking for more brown twigs. Indoors, this means eliminating pest-friendly conditions by employing good housekeeping practices (keep the house neat, clean and as clutter-free as possible).

4. Control is the last element of an IPM program and the last resort. If all else fails it’s time to consider the options, always starting with those that offer the lowest risk factors, including pest predators such as ladybugs, low-toxicity, targeted sprays, etc. In some cases it may be beneficial to enlist the aid of a professional.